You see, the thing is, I get the impression that very few people are blogging for themselves. It seems to be that the vast majority are doing it in order to either publicise their writing abilities, or in some other way put themselves in the eye of many more beholders than they would normally reach. Whether this is because they just want to share, or whether secretly everyone is hoping to be "discovered" as the next major talent of the century, or sell their stories for a small (or ideally large) fortune.
And that's where I fall down. Because naturally I too want to be discovered as the next big talent, but I don't feel a blog is the best way for me to publicise myself. Certainly not this blog, and certainly not the way I am writing it at the moment. It's too personal in some ways, yet not personal enough. Like most of my writing, I feel that it's slightly wide of the mark.
The chances of me having sufficient talent and imagination to "make it" as a writer are slim. That doesn't stop me wanting to try, but I wonder whether it means I may have failed before I even start. If even I don't have that degree of self-belief, who on earth else is going to? And yet I keep plugging away at it, without much conviction, and yet reluctant to give up on that lifelong dream of being a writer. I wonder whether, at the heart of it, I just know I am not good enough. But there is a stubborn streak underlying it all, a single thread of titanium obstinance that wearily binds the disintegrating wisps of doubt together. Because, a bit like the maxm that in order to outrun a lion, one only needs to be faster than the person next to them, perhaps it will be enough not to necessarily be the best writer ever born (Lord knows I've drunk away too many brain cells for that) but perhaps just better than a lot of others will be OK. Because there is some terrible stuff out there - I know I can do better than some. The vision in my mind is sheer brilliance. Sadly its translation into black and white remains some way short of the ideal.
I need to remember how to think.
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ReplyDeleteIf you want to use this as a tool to publicise your work, you need to pimp the hell out of it. Get a Facebook fanpage. Order all your friends to follow it. Read and COMMENT on other people's blogs. Not just a comment saying, 'that was great', but something that makes the author think. Blogging is a two-way street. For an example of a blog that both publicises the author's work and is really entertaining to boot, go look at Fevered Mutterings Mike is a great bloke, and I know he's got jobs directly as a result of his blog.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not happy with this blog, kill it. Start another one that excites you. Don't see it as a chore, or you'll never bother with it. My blog path is littered with abandoned ideas and stories, some of which I'm happy to claim, and many I'm very pleased are/were anonymous. Not everything is successful, but it's only by trying things out that you'll learn what's right for you.
Good luck xxx
(oh, and change your settings so that commenters can comment under their own url. :P )
Hi - it's not that it bores me, it's more that I started the first one as a pregnancy record, then thought that was too limited, then started this one as a general sort of thing. I alternate between putting article idea / ramblings on it and more diary like thoughts, which is why I'm not so keen to publicise. You're right though - I should do one that's more public... thanks for the tips. Lack of time has a hell of a lot to answer for. Honestly - I know that sounds rubbish, but with everything else and actually trying to write children's stuff, a book and articles, on top of Jacob, it just seems like another thing I won't have time to do properly. Oh well - as you say, if it's not something I want to do, I won't do it. Cheers! xxx
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the public/private thing. Which is why I have more than one blog. ;) DLaM is my public-facing one, while I have a couple of others under pseudonyms on different platforms. They all have a slightly different purpose, and a different circle of readers, which means that I can talk about the things that *I* want to talk about, rather than being worried who's reading. At the last count I had 4 of my own blogs, plus another that I contribute to as part of a team effort. What can I say - I'm addicted ...
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