End of an era

It says a lot about me that I have just spent about ten minutes deciding whether or not to capitalise the first letters of the title of this blog, eventually decided to take out the troublesome words altogether, and then choose a template that uses block capitals. Really.

Anyway, I begin this new blog with the best of intentions. It is the end of an era, and the beginning of one. Next week, my husband goes back to work for the first time in fourteen months, and I will, quite literally, be left holding the baby.

Not such a baby now, he's getting on for 13 months, and I haven't written a word in my other blog since pregnancy. Given that its title was Bumpdom and Beyond, I feel I have done my own titular assignations a significant disservice. Still, onward and upward.

So yes, some time ago, my husband and I decided it would be brilliant if he took a few months off work when the baby came - we were in the very fortunate position of being able to afford it thanks to his contracting jobs in the City. Who says banking doesn't have its upsides... that was 14 months ago now, and the last year has been great. And stressful and worrying and argumentative and everything else that goes with a new baby. The best and worst in both of us are brought to the surface a little more often than we might like - but we have survived. Many of my friends have commented that they didn't think their own marriages would have survived a year at such close quarters. To them I say - having different interests really is a wonderful thing. I am sure I shall dwell on this subject more over the coming months, so won't go into it all now.

Because he's got a job. He hasn't looked at many and this one doesn't pay anything like as well as banking did, but it's a job that has him really excited, and that counts for an awful lot.

So on Thursday I shall find myself in the position all my friends with babies were in after just two terrifying weeks of parenthood - home alone with my son. And to be honest - I can't wait. Not that I don't like having my husband around, I truly do - but I am looking forward to the time that it's just the two of us, that new "two of us" that sometimes causes a father some not inconsiderable anguish. (My son has a little sleepsuit set with various slogans on them - one of them is "Mummy's New Man" I don't think my husband was too impressed with that one - perhaps it's a little close to the bone)There are aspects of it that scare me though. I have got used to having that spare set of hands when I need it, and think I have taken for granted just how helpful those hands can be. But I feel stupidly like I am going it alone, as though it's some sort of adventure. I have a year's mothering experience under my belt (along with over a year's worth of eating for two, sadly) and hope that I will really enjoy this next phase.

So here goes - I've enrolled on a writing course, I am trying to launch a new career as freelance writer, and I'll be home alone every day. I have truly appreciated having the two of us around for the first year of our son's life, but it does feel like the time to make a change. The purpose of this blog is varied. It should partly reflect and record things that happen to me, how I am feeling about things, and as a record for my son when he is old enough to read but not so old as to be bored stupid by his mother's ramblings. Secondly, it gets me writing. Whatever I write, i doubt anyone else is reading this, so no point worrying about that. Just getting back into the habit of writing is enough. And lastly - hopefully it will allow me to play around with a few ideas that could turn themselves into something better. As most ideas can, if given the right encouragement.

Right, primed and ready to go, my writing career awaits.

Time to put the kettle on.